Tuesday, February 13, 2024

(for those in the back: it reads RANT)

        It all started in the great city of Timișoara (the first European city to use electric street lighting – from where Edison and Tesla got inspiration for their light bulbs), where I saw the light of day at 11:11 PM. OK, the light of night. Damn it: the light of the bulb.

Then my parents moved to the most vibrant European metropolis, Bucharest (even Paris copied the Arc de Triomphe from the Romanian capital) and, against all odds, they took me with them and the greatest capital of Europe will never be the same again.

For the few of you who still don’t know: scholars discovered that the MOACOC (Mother Of All Cradles Of Civilization) is situated between the Carpathian mountains and the Danube, with the epicenter at Caracal, only 53 miles from where the Noah’s Ark is buried underneath the burned Library of Alexandria* (FIG. 1 below).

* Mr. Bronzestein made a fortune with that insurance scam (even back then arson was illegal): he just ordered the firefighters to “Pull it!” and 6.6 seconds later the library was history. Eons later, at the down of the 21st century, his great-great nephew, Silverstein, better known as Lucky Larry, pulled another big one (there are skills that run in the family …) Rumor has it that no insurance company would offer their services to anybody named Goldstein nowadays … 

Even the philosophical stone was found in that region (FIG.2 above) depicting the first writing system including – to the awe of the most famous linguists and their shrinks – punctuation. It is believed that the wonderful novel inscribed in the stone was Homer’s inspiration for the Iliad. The Americans wanted to steal the stone – ya know, like they did with von Braun and his ilk (Operation Paperclip), so they could get on the moon to prove it’s not made of cheese – but the Dacian King Decebalus (who, according to Herodotus, was a great fan of Dacia’s Got Talent) had a better Plan B than Adolf …

I remember leaving Timișoara towards my new home: the closer we got to Bucharest, the more some strange electricity was enveloping me and pulling my finger out of the car’s lighter socket put only a slight dent in Maxwell’s equations.

I knew at an early age that I wasn’t born to run with the herd. Like any rising fine young intellectual I started bullying around, mainly pupils, teachers and neighbors: only in Apocalypse Now you could see more blood, misery and desperation than in my grammar school and the surroundings. Then I was disciplinary moved to a different school at the other end of the city. A few weeks later my Zip Code started to rebuild, birds returned to building nests, women grew the courage to bear children again …

My first memorable intellectual venture (which ended up, but of course, with a big kick in my sore nuts) was in the 8th grade when I tried to solve the ‘Trisection of the Angle”, not knowing that it had been proven to be unsolvable.

After about 3 months of furiously working on it I gave up, cuz my overheating self-preservation module notified me that some of my screws were loosening at an alarming rate, and I swore not to waste my time with famous problems ever again (‘Danny boy, you just don’t have that cuckoo to break the math’s back, your mummy didn’t party with Euler or Gauss’)

Since I’m the type of guy who always keeps his word of course that after my trisected fiasco I toyed with the Four Colors and Collatz Conjectures, and again I blamed my mummy for her poor choices in the dudes she dated …

        I came to US as humble as it comes, just knowing that I’m smarter and more creative than 99.9999% of them Yanks and I’ll eat America for breakfast in a month or so. Not so fast, Danny boy … 

First week some dude of which long name I can’t clearly remember, so I’ll call him Righardia Barusta von Krausta van der Libelusta for short, tried to teach me how to find a job. He wanted to see if I’m qualified for a position at his uncle’s company who had an opening. “Are you bilingual, Dan?” “Of course I am and then some. I’m fluent in English, Romanian and some French”. “In America bilingual means you speak English and Spanish, believe me, I’m an HR expert.” “Well, I’m kind of comfortable in Spanish” I venture, having nothing to lose. “Give me an example.” “Well I know Senior por favor, seniorita por favorita and about seven more words”, says me, full of hope. That was the last time I saw Righardia Barusta von Krausta van der Libelusta for short …

After him I looked for a room. Stopped by a house with a For Rent sign in the window. Knock, knock and some small woman answers: “Hi, I’m Lil Debbie and I’m a rent agent expert, lemme show you your room”. Inside her house the smell of marijuana could easily OD Ozzy Osbourne. She had 2 dogs: the black one was blind and the other was one-eyed, they were hysterically running through the house bouncing off the walls, furniture and my legs. I couldn’t walk for the next 2 weeks …

2 weeks and 1 day since Lil Debbie. INSIDE A BAR:

A 7.7 on a scale of 1 to 10 Latina creeps in and – non bonjour, nu futu-te-n cur -- climbs on the stool near mine: “Bienvenido a América”. “Suck what?” -- that was me trying to play it Kool. The 7.7 reads my mind: “It spells C-O-O-L.” My mental jaw hits my sneakers: “WTF?!” Suddenly panicked by the thought that her Spanish wasn’t going to pay for her Tequila, she changed tactics so fast that you’d say that Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” was her major at Quantico and switched it to English: “Will you buy me a drink, handsome?”  “So I can fuck the bejesus out of you?” says me trying to sound friendly. “That would be the day,” replies she with a glimmer of hope. “If you can make me laugh, yeah, why not?” she chimes with a horny flash behind her eye-contacts. “So you want a clown, or a fucker?”, my insatiable thirst for knowledge made me ask. “American women want a clown who can fuck, believe me, I’m a sexpert.” Not quite Zen but it stuck with me. 

< Also, apparently I was the only NON-expert in between Atlantic and Pacific ... >

My wandering through the Intellectual Properties (IP) jungle:

Did the first one – IP1 – and it took me nowhere. REASON: I had no name in that field – or, better yet, in America, for that matter – so I needed to do something about it. SOLUTION: do IP2, make a name for myself and then monetize IP1.

A few years later I was at the stage: make IPn successful, so you’ll have a name to monetize IP(n-1), then IP(n-2) and so on down the road to IP1 and, in the process, getting my well-deserved Billions (notice the B!) and reward myself with a month on an exotic island with some supermodels shipped 1st class from Paris, to play hide and seek. After which I’ll go touring the wineries in Tuscany, just to catch my breath. Why did I think that this brilliant strategy was doable? Cuz Hollywood and Radio Free Europe told me that America is the land of opportunity (or is it .. corportunity?), so it must be true, since Americans are all angels who never lie.

Ladies and gents I’ve got news for ya: it didn’t fucken work.

In early 2000s I read about some dude writing some movie script where the main car was a Chrysler and he got good money from Chrysler for that, so that gave me the idea to write a script where the hero car is a Ford. My script, 4 Letters and a Tale, is:

- In the Top 5 smartest puzzle stories ever written;

- Centered on the brightest car logo in the history of the auto industry. That logo also happens to be the most brilliant Go Green/EV logo ever. And yep, you’re invited to prove me wrong with your counterexamples.

- With at least one twist in the top 10 most memorable twists in literature or movies. 

But why would H’wood review Dan’s script when they can make their garbage (too smelly to enlist here) and endless remakes – cuz everything smart and original scare the suppositories outta them constipated clowns?

In 2010 I was in Las Vegas, went to a show where a magician did some really crazy tricks with a Rubik Cube. Back home I did what I do best: ‘let’s think (or should I call it brainstorm?) of a game that will be, financially speaking, in the same league with the Rubik Cube.’ So I came up with BilliChess, which made it to the Winners List of the international contest “Level Up 2010” organized by Intel. Then I tried to market the game (I knocked at a few doors, not that I broke my back) and … it went nowhere: it was too smart for this planet. 

Later on I moved to Texas (an internet search said that it’s the best state for startups) to try and make something out of DiCheetal, an app designed to disrupt the online ad business, see HERE how. But without the right connections I got nowhere. Just some arrogant Texan with quite lame business manners wasted my time. It can still disrupt the ad business, all it takes is for somebody with a functional brain and the right connections to look it up. 

Then, about a year after landing in Texas, I came up with FiT-DNA which shows humans how to reach (or asymptotically approach) the absolute knowledge. Except for one famous Ivy League Professor and researcher who said that my research idea probably has more value than Kurzweil’s approach to Singularity, I didn’t hear from anybody else. Quite possible that some countries are working on it while America adamantly ignores me. 

My next attempt – I’ll only talk about the stuff mentioned on my page – was the lifesaver Never Forget Us! which I patented while being in Texas, the state with the most kids dying of heatstroke in cars in the nation. But some other dude, see below, was the world-wide media darling, hero and genius … 

 Just google up “Child genius Bishop Curry” and you’ll get over 4 MILLION (!!) results:

Never a word about the real solution ...

Yep, I got it: I’m the evil white who mistreated the slaves working hard on my vast plantations. So I deserve my fate. In the 21st century America I’m the wrong color …

Remember, Dreamer: America is the most anti-white country in the world and because of that  it is also the safest country in the world IF you count from South Africa down …

In nowadays America the violent "white supremacists" in FIG. 4 (“The Most Intelligent Photo Ever Taken”) would be oppressed while the geniuses in FIG. 5 (one of the most [fill in the blank] photo ever taken) would ... errr ... I mean ARE rewarded with top political jobs, fat salaries and unparalleled benefits and perks including immunity for their crimes.  

In any contest* my device would prove that it is the most reliableaffordableversatile and easy to install (no installation skills or tools needed) out of all products and concepts proposed so far. But without a name and/or the right connections and/or the right money you don’t stand a chance in America.

* It would be plain common sense to organize a national contest to solve a national (and quite shameful!) problem, right? Ya know, like many countries did (remember the “Longitude Rewards”– that’s what a sane nation does to solve its problems: organize a contest open to everybody – it’s called equal opportunity: everybody stands a chance, not only celebrities and/or well-connected and/or rich dudes, and let the smartest one win – and reward the brightest solution) and still do? Right? Wrong! Not in America where all kind of silly competitions are organized (I’ll get back to this later) but when it comes to kids being baked alive – what a horrible way of dying!! -- when forgotten in cars the mentality seems to be, “Not my kids, let them die.”

My posts on social media (see some of them below) were, but of course, completely ignored.

In the same country where the top lifesaver for children in cars is ignored, a device serving a quite narrow niche (while plenty of thugs are using it in car break-ins and acts of vandalism) is already on the shelves. Note that I have no beef with the inventors and promoters of that device: more power to them.

Why is it that nobody cares, nobody ever answers on this dumb planet where braindead ‘entertainers’ make 1,000 times more money than the PhDs? And where the so-called journalists are extreme-left activists and propagandists.

Part of the answer is, without a doubt, ‘incompetence.’

The rampant incompetence at all levels in America is beyond belief. Countless “representatives” – Cori Bush, AOC, Maxine Waters, Jasmine Crockett and plenty of others – are way dumber than a high schooler but make (toss in the perks) 100X more money than a genuine college graduate.

The brave Georgia’s “representative” Hank Johnson stunned the world with his wisdom and Guam was immediately evacuated thus saving thousands of American lives.

It should be a felony to be that stupid!

Here is the thing: If you are not famous and/or don't have the right connections and/or are not rich (i.e., if you’re not part of the Big Club, see FIG. 3) in the land of "it ain't matter what you know, but who you know" you stand a by far better chance to win the Jackpot in the lottery 10X in a row than to ever promote anything intelligent ... 

Corruption (like in, say, insider trading) is legalized at the highest level : how else do you think that the pathological liar (she lied all her way from kindergarten to Harvard and was rewarded for her crimes with a seat in the US Senate!) Elizabeth Warren is a multi-millionaire?

More about the protected thugs HERE

My domain names seem to be too clever for this decrepit planet so none of them ever generated one red penny. Apparently the Sussexes have no friends that would make them an outstanding and unique birthday present for their lil’ Princess ( and, in India there are no coin dealers or collectors (, in Sin City the Ladies have 0 value (; oh well, next time I’ll try with, nobody cares about bonuses in America (, the smartest lucky charm in modern history ( has no takers And so on … 

9 AM at my morning coffee I turn on my laptop. One email got my attention:

TWO DAYS AFTER HEROICALLY RESISTING I was in line in a Discount Store when good ol’ Elon taps my shoulder from behind: “Why didn’t you show up last night, Danny boy, it was a great party?” “You know I don’t have time for losers, Elon, but what in the fuck are YOU doing in a Discount Store?!” “Some shit sniffing judge in Delaware invalidated my pay package and I’m a bit in the red. Would you have 20 bucks 'til Friday?”

In 2021, exasperated that I was born on a retarded planet (hold your ponies, ladies, remember that in “The Planet of the Apes” there were also some humans!) that is hell-bent on completely ignoring my-glorious-self, I decided to come up with something monumental, designed to be very beneficial to our national interest and security: TUPLEZZ. And the timing for the strongest phishing-resistant MFA method ever patented couldn’t have been any better: Look at how many billions of dollars the hackers get, and, overall, how much misery they create in America only. CISA, DHS, DoD, DIA, to name just a few, will all line up at my door hoping I’ll have a few minutes for them. Right? Wrong again ...

I contacted everybody and their uncle Bob to no avail. I knocked on all the doors from aspiring celebrities like the Pope to superstars like the Tate brothers. The Pope was too busy decorating the Vatican with LGBTQ and BLM flags. Andrew Tate, a staunch feminist, was tirelessly coordinating the Logistics Department of the “H.0.E.S Without Frontiers” international organization, while his brother Tristan, a devout Christian with the Ten Commandments tattooed on his chest, was too busy working shoulder-to-shoulder with Richard Dawkins to build a church; but, at least, the brothers promised me a catalog.

My online posts (< 1% of them below) for TUPLEZZ were as successful as those for Never Forget Us!

You would say that there are no competitions open to all Americans in US. Well, they are, by the thousands, it’s just that for minor issues like saving children lives or improving our national security they ARE NOT! The Great American Competitions out there: Cockroach Racing, Toe Wrestling, Worm-Charming, World’s Ugliest Dog, Cherry Pit Spitting and plenty of others that would shamelessly steal many points from your IQ score. But a national cybersecurity innovation contest that would benefit US? --- Nope, that would enrage the hackers of the world 😠

It looks like America completely divorced from that nasty thing called “reading comprehension” and for decades would only consider startups based on certain criteria that eliminates 99.99% of Americans -- WHY?! Any high schooler outside Oregon (See FIG. 7. Outside US is it legal anywhere in the world to destroy a country from within?) can tell you that Never Forget Us! is the most reliable, affordable, versatile and easy to install (no installation skills or tools needed) out of all products and concepts proposed so far. Anybody who can understand how a light switch works would understand how my lifesaver works: it’s basic reading comprehension (FIG. 6) and plain common sense, BUT never bet on a horse with such a silly name as “Common Sense” in America. 

The situation in this no-common-sense no-reading-comprehension America is so dire for independent innovators that their only hope would be an AI able to read patents and objectively decide which products and services are the best. And if the businesses still refuse to manufacture the top products or provide the best services because the inventors are not LGBTQ activists, or don’t glue themselves on freeways then those businesses should be boycotted into bankruptcy! 

Some uneventful afternoon. I grab the stuff from my mail box and one envelope stands out: it contains the promised catalog. In a fair world the pictures in the chapter "Nasty Japanese Schoolgirls Ambush the Principal" would get the top honors in The Most Prestigious International Photography Contests. Now I understand why the Tate brothers are on Vatican's short list of candidates for sainthood. 

Then the phone rings and gets me back from Japan to Texas. 

Some Dreamer is at the other end:

Great entrepreneur Dan?”

Only the latter. Who’s bothering me?”

“I am …”

“Hold on, what’s that stupid accent, lemme guess, I’m good at that: you must be some John from New Zealand”

“You’re pretty close:

My name is Ahmed Borak

And I’m from Iraq

And why would I give a fuck?” I’m selflessly trying to help him bring his rhymes to life. 

“Dan, how can I hit it big in America?”

You can’t.”

Well, yeah, but I mean … let’s assume … “

Are you famous and/or rich and/or well-connected? Or do you have big boobs?”

“No, no, no and fucking NO!

Then buy some rope and find a tall tree” – I just can’t stop encouraging him.

Yeah, but still ...”

Also, are you a clown?”

Me?! No, I actually have a Masters in …”

Then you won’t get laid.”

Dan, you for real?!” 

< “Trust me, I’m an expert" >


(for those in the back: it reads  R ANT )          It all started in the great city of Timișoara (the first European city to use electric s...